


In Which Dick is Green, Much To His Dismay

by sister_wolf



Category: DCU (Comics), Teen Titans (Comics)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-12-20
Updated: 2005-12-20
Packaged: 2017-10-12 05:38:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/121392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sister_wolf/pseuds/sister_wolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Dick is green, much to his dismay.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Which Dick is Green, Much To His Dismay

**Author's Note:**

> Crack ficlet requested by [](http://users.livejournal.com/__marcelo/profile)[**__marcelo**](http://users.livejournal.com/__marcelo/).

"This is horrible," Roy yelled over the sound of the shower. Dick rolled his eyes and continued to inspect himself in the mirror. Green, he decided, was definitely not his color. At least they hadn't actually switched bodies, just powers (and, apparently, sex drives). Short _and_ green would be adding insult to injury, in his opinion.

"Roy, you're getting off easy," he called, sitting glumly on the locker room bench. "All you have to do is take a shower every so often and you're fine. Me? I'm _bright green_ and powerfully attracted to _Vic_ , of all people!"

Roy appeared in the doorway to the showers, a towel slung low around his hips. Scrubbing a towel over his wet hair, he argued, "Hey, at least you still _have_ a sex drive. I'm not even attracted to Kory anymore. What the hell, is Garth a fucking _eunuch_ or something? _Everyone's_ attracted to Kory! I bet _Batman's_ attracted to Kory!"

Dick winced. "Roy. Please don't _ever_ make me contemplate that mental image again, or I will hurt you."

Roy laughed. "I'd say I'm sorry, bro, but I'm really not." Snickering, he turned to the mirror, running a hand through his damp hair, then froze suddenly, staring at himself.

"What is it?" Dick asked, concerned.

"No way."

"What?"

Roy appeared to be caught somewhere between horrified and desperately amused. "I'm attracted to _myself_."

"You mean Garth is..."

"Uh-huh."

"Whoops."

"Oh, man, this is hilarious, but… he'd _die_ of embarrassment if he knew I knew. So, I'm gonna be a nice guy—which I can be occasionally—and we're just gonna say that I didn't notice anything out of the ordinary."

"Sounds like a plan," Dick said, relieved that he wouldn't have to deal with the situation becoming any messier than it already was.

Stroking a hand over his chest, Roy stared at the mirror thoughtfully. "Damn, though. I am _smoking_ hot. I'd do me."

Roy's towel dropped to the floor. Deciding that discretion was the better part of valor, Dick fled the locker room.

He'd just add that to the growing list of memories from this weekend which he planned to completely repress for the sake of his sanity.


End file.
